The Dovers - Nobody Never Told Me Nothing About No Lights (1992) C90+

That's Maydew House in Bermondsey which would be where we recorded the material on this tape, because I can't be arsed to scan a boring generic cassette inlay card. Carl's flat would be somewhere at the bottom on the right, and I think Danny Baker lived on the floor above at some point. The arbitrary title of this cassette derived from a conversation I had about double negatives with fellow Catford based postman Micky Evans who said this was his favourite one, as uttered by some bloke on a television documentary. The tape was recorded by Carl Glover and myself on Carl's portastudio between Sunday the 27th of October, 1991 and Saturday the 25th of January 1992, except Tim Song, which wasn't on the original tape. Tim Song and the recordings immediately before and after were recorded on Saturday the 11th of November, 1991 with Christine - Carl's girlfriend - as part of a tape letter sent to my friend Tim. This seemed as good a place for it as any. There are plenty of other entries concerning the Dovers to be found elsewhere on this blog so if you're still confused about anything, please refer to the index which can be found at the foot of this one.

 

As for the stuff which isn't self-explanatory - 8-Ball 8-Ball Martin De Sey, named in honour of a former Cravat, was us going through my address book and insulting everyone in alphabetical order. There's a longer, probably funnier version on one of the other tapes. Cheer Up, Gen is the very definition of self-explanatory but I mention it so as to request that anyone of my acquaintance who happens to know him please refrain from grassing me up. It was a long time ago, he probably wouldn't get it anyway, and yes - I'm sure he has a great sense of humour. Ghost Dance is almost a Prince Buster cover. Telstar Air Strip was done for a Joe Meek themed compilation done by Chainsaw Cassettes, but the bloke didnae like it.

 

The Glenn referred to in passing at the end of the tape was, as is probably obvious, Glenn of Konstruktivists, Whitehouse, former Throbbing Gristle handler etc. etc., this being around the same time Carl and myself recorded stuff with him which ended up on some Konstruktivists CD or other. Anyone who calls themselves a true fan of the Gristle will therefore already have this material on the luxurious 360g splatter-effect vinyl triple album released by Waitrose Org a few years ago, much to the envy of those lightweight Johnny come lately part timers who were still listening to Captain Beaky when we were snorting nose candy off Chris Carter's gristlesizer backstage at Knebworth.

 

Crazy times. 

Download the tape by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Partial Bastard (version)
2 - American
3 - 8-Ball 8-Ball Martin De Sey
4 - Tell Him About the Rabbit
5 - Tales of Tom
6 - Two Men Standing on a Rock
7 - I Can't Wait
8 - Cheer Up, Gen
9 - Wooden Head
10 - Don't Know What to Do
11 - Measuring Rooms
12 - Everyman
13 - Big Mouth
14 - Ghost Dance
15 - Telstar Air Strip
16 - Pink Brick Town
17 - Ed is Great
18 - Alan Retentive
19 - (Maydew House 16/11/91 I)
20 - Tim Song
21 - (Maydew House 16/11/91 II)

 
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War Drum - Final Music (2005) C60

This was the last tape I ever recorded, one that I didn't really regard as having been finished up until I digitised the thing this week. I was mixing the tracks down to a C90 as I recorded them, and about ten minutes into side two, the four-track portastudio I had been borrowing from Eddy Walsh finally gave up the ghost and I couldn't seem to find anyone to fix it. Additionally this was around the time I started seeing Marian, and my life turned to a mire of passive-aggressive shite and mumbo-jumbo, so creative endeavours became difficult to sustain for the next couple of years. Anyway, digging this out in 2017, I notice it's actually just under sixty minutes in length and it sort of sounds finished, so let's just say that it is.

 

I had drifted away from War Drum, partially to concentrate on LDB (the works of which I might post here at some point, or I might not) and partially to concentrate on writing. Then in 2005 I got back into it. I'd been to Mexico four or five times by this point, and had taken a minidisc recorder with me on a couple of those occasions so as to record environmental sound. So Final Music features quite a lot of that environmental sound rearranged and ordered back in England with, this time, a much stronger influence of Mexican artists such as Tribu, Antonio Zepeda, and Jorge Reyes. This one is much closer to how I always wanted War Drum to sound, and so seems fitting as the last thing I ever recorded. The themes are, as will probably be obvious, mostly related to pre-Hispanic Mexican culture, and Idols Behind the Altars is sung in Nahuatl; and yes, it's my own composition. Most of it is either self-explanatory, or at least not difficult to investigate if you care that much. I seem to recall recording Lonesome Town again mainly because previous versions I'd done had been a bit crap.

 

Since digitising this one, I haven't had the chance to listen to the files on decent speakers, so I hope the bass has survived the transfer and that my minidisc recordings of tropical rain can be identified as such rather than just as overpowering hiss, but at least on the strength of the tape as it came through my stereo, I've a feeling this might be the best thing I've ever done (which I state in the awareness of much of my stuff having left considerable room for improvement).

Download the tape by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Primavera
2 - Nexpiltlan
3 - Fifth Sun
4 - Blood and Sand
5 - Idols Behind the Altars
6 - Sick Day
7 - Arrival of the Rain Baby
8 - Lonesome Town 

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Do Easy - Italia 1912 (1986) C90

This wasn't so much an album as a tape of bits and pieces which eventually filled up, at which point I decided it probably would be an album if I ever got around to doing a cover, which I didn't. The title probably refers to some Futurist thing which had caught my attention and which I liked because it sounded exotic and mysterious, or possibly ominous. You know how it works, I'm sure. The er... title track wasn't actually the title track up until last week. Both tracks six and fourteen had self-consciously wacky titles up until I digitised the thing and decided to change them, or at least disguise them in the case of PJWFY-F, which originally stood for PJ Wears Fluorescent Y-Fronts.

'What shall I call this one?' I asked Steve McGarrigle.

'PJ Wears Fluorescent Y-Fronts,' he quipped in jocular fashion, and thus was it so.

Anyway, here we have three tracks of Steve and myself rehearsing with Peter Jones in preparation for the gig which was recorded on the previous tape. Steve plays trumpet, some keyboard, and programmed most of the the Yamaha RX15 drum machine for these rehearsal tracks and elsewhere on this tape. Also the piano coda - I suppose you would call it - of Italia 1912 is actually myself trying to play one of his compositions. It's what was on the tape which I recorded over, which is why you hear it at the end, so when I was mixing this thing I guess I thought fuck it, and left it going. Peter Jones, or PJ of the alleged fluorescent underwear, played either bass or keyboard on the rehearsals for the live set, but I can't remember which - probably keyboard.

Talking of live material, track five is an eighteen minute live improvisation. I set up a load of instruments, or at least things which generate noise, on the three landings of a stairwell in the illustration department at the art college. The idea was that anyone who happened to be passing could join in and make a racket, and the three performers, whoever they were, would be unable to see each other, so no-one would know who else was contributing to the sound. According to the inlay card, the performers, aside from myself, included Martin Smith, Mark Orphan, Steve McGarrigle, Peter Avery, Brendan Mooney, and Martin de Sey. I recognise Martin de Sey hooting away at the end, closely followed by some comments from Kirsten Butler and Charlie Adlard - the Walking Dead guy. Brendan Mooney is the one who turns the thing into Johnny Kidd and the fucking Pirates, the little bollix. He ended up as guitarist in Dave Vanian's Phantom Chords, as a point of probably negligible interest, although it links my rock family tree to the Damned, which is nice.

By the way, the more observant members of my huge fanbase may notice that some of this material actually predates that which appears on the previous tape, but I don't think I filled this tape until afterwards - in case that one's keeping anyone awake at night. 

The rest of the tracks were things recorded in the college sound studio, which was fairly nicely equipped with several four-track reel-to-reels, a Wasp synth, an old EMS suitcase synth bequeathed to the college by Brian Eno, a mixing desk, vibes courtesy of Bob Cubitt who was one of our tutors and something to do with ...And the Native Hipsters, and a brand-spanking-new Ibanez harmoniser. Mostly I was just fucking around, seeing what I could come up with. Some of these tracks ended up as soundtracks to videos. Gaze Upon the Doom That Was Foretold! was er... inspired by the cover of an issue of 2000AD comic; and Live in Fear was Jane Hanley and myself just seeing what we could come up with. Jane sings and plays the flute on that one, which is possibly why it's a bit easier on the ear than the rest of this crap. According to my notes, Paul Mercer did something on tracks seven and thirteen, although I've no idea what. Maybe he was stood in the corner of the studio making balloon animals. That's the sort of thing he used to do all the time, that and the Punch & Judy at the weekends. Oh how that man loved to make us smile.

I'm kidding, by the way. I don't really think it's crap. Actually, considering some of the clunkers I've posted here, I mostly quite like this one.

Download all fourteen tracks by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Protein Suppressant
2 - Cover of a Magazine (rehearsal)
3 - Something In Me Isn't Right (rehearsal)
4 - Salute the Future! (rehearsal)
5 - Maidstone College of Art, Maidstone 22/10/85
6 - Italia 1912
7 - Gaze Upon the Doom That Was Foretold!
8 - Live in Fear
9 - This Says It All
10 - In Control
11 - Tachyon & Neon
12 - Hello David
13 - Galley Slaves
14 - PJWFY-F

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Total Big - Rehearsals 11 & 12 (1986) C90

Carl on vocals, Chris on drums, and me on guitar; all at Hollytree House, Otham, Kent, Nothing Like A Dame through to Is That Why? were bashed out on Saturday the 5th of April, 1986, and the rest were on Saturday the 12th of the same month. I found the picture on the internet and it seemed to fit the music. 

This is the two-hundredth Total Big rehearsal tape which I've digitised and posted here for free, so I only have another fifty or sixty to go. If you enjoyed the first two-hundred tapes you will almost certainly enjoy this one too; but if you didn't, then this probably won't be the one to change your mind. As is probably obvious by now, most of this is done for the sake of my own amusement. Last time I went back to my mother's house in the Land of Fred West and Benedict Cumberbatch and also some other people, but mainly those two guys, I filled a suitcase with every cassette from my mammoth collection to feature myself in some capacity, plus a few other faves such as the work of We Be Echo when I realised I had room. On returning to the Land of Johnny Cash and Andy Griffith I didst vow to digitise every single tape I had brought back from England, so unfortunately that means a lot of Total Big, because we recorded every single rehearsal. Sorry.

Actually, I'm not even remotely sorry. I'm listening to this one right now as I'm writing this and it's fucking great.

I only have another three Total Big cassettes left to digitise, although apparently Chris still has a few tapes of which I don't have copies; but never mind. I'll post that rare tape Lustmord did with the Rubettes next week.

Download all thirty-four amazing tracks by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Nothing Like a Dame
2 - He Writes the Songs
3 - Rock Sandwich
4 - Keep Your Dreams A'Burnin'
5 - Are You My Mother?
6 - Call It What You Want
7 - Louie Louie
8 - Sister Ray
9 - I'm Not Losing Sleep
10 - I'm Not Losing Sleep
11 - Hail Fellow Well Met
12 - Cold Sore Herpes B
13 - Nervous Wreck
14 - Madonna
15 - Do It Again
16 - I Want It
17 - Is That Why?
18 - Louie Louie
19 - Sister Ray
20 - Hey Joe
21 - Are You My Mother?
22 - He Writes the Songs
23 - Rock Sandwich
24 - Call It What You Want
25 - Hail Fellow Well Met
26 - Keep Your Dreams A'Burnin'
27 - Cold Sore Herpes B
28 - Oh Yeah!
29 - I'm Not Losing Sleep
30 - Some Kind of Place For Us
31 - Prettiest Thing
32 - Rock Commando
33 - Tee Total Big
34 - Children of the Revolution


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The Dovers - Water Pistol Filled with Beer (1991) C90

This is what rock and roll used to look like, you autotuned assholes.

Here's another Dovers tape, and definitely one of the better ones. All of this stuff was recorded on various portastudios. The first eleven tracks were recorded at Carl's flat in Bermondsey over a long, hot weekend in the late eighties, as I've written on the inlay card. He Writes the Songs through to Do the Frug were apparently recorded at John Jasper's house in Chatham on his portastudio around the same time. The rest were recorded at Carl's flat from winter to spring 1991. The aforementioned inlay card was too boring to be scanned and is thus absent from the download. As I may have mentioned before, whilst these tracks transfer to my own iTunes in the right order, they'll probably download in alphabetical order for you, depending on what you use and how you listen to them, if you listen to them, so I'd advice rearranging them in the correct sequence shown below, not least because a couple of them segue into each other. I'm primarily digitising this shit for my own entertainment, so I'm not going to give them titles like A9 Work That Body! because it offends my pedantic sensibilities. If that's annoying, screw you because it's not like I'm charging anything, unlike Radiohead and Oasis, and what you get is about a million times better than Radiohead or Oasis, so great bolshy yarblockos to thee and thine.

Some of these tracks also appear on the album that never was. The versions on The World of the Dovers are probably mixed a little better, but there's probably not much in it. Carl, as pictured above, handled most of the vocal stylings and programming, and I played guitar and can usually be heard giggling in the background. I'm not sure about the photo, as I think that's Carl from when he was in a group called Churchill's Shoe, possibly, which was before we met.

Download tracks.

Burn to a plurality of CDRs.

Slap in car stereo and drive down to Camber Sands and eat ice creams on a hot day.

Job fucking done.

You're welcome. 

Download the twenty-five tracks by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - The End
2 - Eggs, Beans & Mayonnaise
3 - Blue Moon of Kansas
4 - The Insect
5 - Sentimental Fool
6 - You Were Better When You Were Crap
7 - After a Particularly Uplifting Sermon...
8 - I Am Mr. Bennett
9 - Work That Body!
10 - When the Power Falls
11 - Fly in the Ointment
12 - He Writes the Songs
13 - Worm
14 - Sentimental Fool
15 - Beat Me Black & Blue
16 - Do the Frug
17 - Make My Flesh Crawl
18 - Do You Use Your Brain?
19 - Everybody's Got to Change
20 - Horrible Glam Thing
21 - Surfing On My Mind
22 - State of Pigs
23 - Vale of Tears
24 - John Piss-take
25 - Business Biscuits etc.


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War Drum - My Heart is Broken OST (2001) C60

Here's another one which never came out as an actual tape, or as anything. The full story of the major motion picture that would have been My Heart is Broken has already been told here - starts on paragraph eight if you can't be arsed to read the bits which don't directly relate to south-east London's answer to Orson Welles. I recorded five tracks according to Paul's description of what he was after, and he said they were amazing, then next day he said they weren't amazing and could I make them a bit better? He lacked the vocabulary to describe what he considered would make them better, so I just remixed them and added a theme song. I don't even remember what happened after that, so probably nuffink innit.

 

I recorded this material on a four-track in February, 2001 and I'm still reasonably pleased with it. That said, it's a bit hissy, and for some reason I could never quite get the bass sounding right. It seemed to be in tune and yet somehow felt like it wasn't, but I could never identify the problem. The bass was purchased from Kingsley, star of My Heart is Broken, for thirty quid, so there was probably a reason why he sold it to me so cheap. Otherwise I still say Paul should have been kissing my ass for taking the trouble to record this stuff for a film which existed mostly in his head.

 

Yes, I am indeed a big fan of The Sweeney.

Download the fifteen tracks by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Main Theme I
2 - Waiting I
3 - Losing Your Marbles I
4 - Main Theme II
5 - Acid Car Chase I
6 - Barry Car Chase I
7 - Sad Song (instrumental I)
8 - Sad Song (instrumental II)
9 - Main Theme III
10 - Waiting II
11 - Losing Your Marbles II
12 - Main Theme IV
13 - Acid Car Chase II
14 - Barry Car Chase II
15 - Sad Song

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Sat Next to the Radio, One Finger on the Pause Button (1980) C120

This was compiled in 2016, but all of the material dates from 1980, and it doesn't actually exist as a C120 but that's how long it would be if it did, so Merry Christmas.

I got my first mono portable tape recorder as a teenager, roughly coinciding with my developing an obsession with music. I bought a five-pin DIN lead and taped stuff from medium wave radio, particularly the interviews featured on Tommy Vance's Rock On Saturday show on Radio 1, usually conducted by David Hepworth, Phil Sutcliffe, and others whose names I can't remember; and being an obsessive type, of course I still have all of these tapes and this is the first six months or so converted to digital format on the grounds that it will probably be of interest to someone somewhere, and some of it is even still of interest to me.

You can probably work out who these people are or were if you retain any interest in their music, although some of this lot won't make a great deal of sense if you don't. The quality isn't amazing but it's listenable, and I've removed most of the songs played during the interviews. If you really need to hear Kings of the Wild Frontier, I'm sure you can find yourself something better than a crackly mono MP3 with someone talking over the introduction.

Points of potential interest: 1) Richard Jobson really comes across as a bit of a Charlie, doesn't he? 2) Wouldn't have bothered including the Lennon thing given that he makes no actual appearance, but it makes for pretty weird listening considering how things turned out. 3) Interesting to note that Jello Biafra was mesmerisingly entertaining even back then, and also that 4) Bono was always like that, even when he was just a kitten. 5) Thrill as Malcolm McLaren courageously defends the sort of pictures Jimmy Savile liked to look at whilst trying not to sound like the sleazy failed art student he always was, the horrible auld tit-rifle. I particularly enjoy his amusing pronunciation of the word cassettes, delivered almost as though he's an old, old man trying hard to be down with the kids and getting it all wrong. What a fucking rotter. 6) That isn't a picture of the actual tape recorder on which all this stuff was taped, but it's the same model. I used to love that thing.

Enjoy.

Seasons Greetings.

Happy Hanukah.

Merry Christmas.

Etc. 

Download all nineteen tracks by clicking on this link.

Tracks:
1 - Max Splodge & Baby Greensleeves 16/8/80
2 - Spizz 16/8/80
3 - Kevin Rowland 26/7/80
4 - Annabella Lwin & Malcolm McLaren 2/8/80
5 - Ian Dury & Wilko Johnson 9/8/80
6 - Dave Wakeling 23/8/80
7 - Adam Ant 23/8/80
8 - Dave Ruffy & Paul Fox 23/8/80
9 - Lemmy 30/8/80
10 - Suggs & Chas Smash 27/9/80
11 - Richard Jobson 27/9/80
12 - David Hepworth on John Lennon's comeback 29/9/80
13 - Jello Biafra 27/9/80
14 - Sting 4/10/80
15 - Edward Tudor-Pole 4/10/80
16 - Rat Scabies 25/10/80
17 - Bono & the Edge 4/10/80
18 - Mel Smith & Pamela Stephenson 15/11/80
19 - Malcolm McLaren 15/11/80
 

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